In the Rain
by mspolapotter
Summary: I often close my eyes, and then I see you smile. You reach out for my hand and I'm woken from my dream. Although your heart is mine, it's hollow inside. I never had your love, and I never will. So why am i still here in the rain?


I'm being pretty dynamic don't you think?

Hellooo **51st FanFic!**

Well, my computer's still broken, so even though i finished writing this around a month ago, it took me a while to encode.

So, I hope you guys enjoy

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><p><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do **_not_** own anything. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and the song used in this fanfic is called _Kiss The Rain_ which is a piano composition by Korean musical genius, Yiruma and the lyrics are by Hienie Dao. The music used for this fanfic can be found in the ff link: .com/watch?v=A6ytdHuOccA

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><p><strong><em>In the Rain<em>**

_an HHr fanfic by mspolapotter_

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><p>It was all too good to be true.<p>

Harry was lying right beside me. His green eyes were boring into mine. He smiled at me, then stretched out his arms to pull me close. I snuggled at his command . . . or at least tried to.

_I often close my eyes  
>And I can see you smile<br>You reach out for my hand  
>And I'm woken from my dream<br>Although your heart is mine  
>It's hollow inside<br>I never had your love  
>And I never will<em>

Abruptly, I was woken from my dream. Of course my bed was empty. Of course I had no one to snuggle closer to. As sad as it may seem, I am alone in this world.

I stood up and dragged myself to the kitchen, knowing that there's no way I could fall back to sleep. I looked at the calendar and sighed. Harry and Ginny will be having their rehearsal dinner tomorrow, which meant that Harry and I would be having our "last date" before their stag party later tonight.

We'd agreed to meet up at the Leaky Cauldron. He was already there by the time I arrived.

"Been here long?" I asked, giving him a hug for hello.

"Nope. Barely sat down when you came."

"Where are you taking me anyway?"

"Why would I tell you?"

Together, we walked outside to his car. He held open the passenger side for me then walked over to the driver's seat.

"Here we go," he said excitedly as he began to drive.

"To where?"

"To our first date," he replied, smiling.

I smiled back at him halfheartedly as I thought bitterly, and last.

We drove around for a long while, regaling stories of Hogwarts, singing cheesy songs on the radio and playing silly games.

"Are we there yet?" I whined not unlike a little child when a song ended. He turned at a corner and I finally saw where we were heading.

We were at a carnival situated at a pier well outside of London.

As soon as I stepped out of the car I was greeted by the salty breeze.

"Surprise!" he said, waving his hands. I slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Didn't you want to be a child again?" he said. I remembered telling him that. The two of us and Ron have had pretty tough times as kids. We had to grow up pretty fast since the Wizarding World depended on us. He put one arm around my shoulder and together we walked towards the pier.

I basically got to do everything I was deprived of in my childhood. I got to ride the Ferris wheel, the roller coaster, the bumper cars and the train of horror. I got to visit the house of mirrors and several odd shows. All with Harry, of course. I wanted to see the entire thing as a date, but it just wasn't right. Harry was engaged. He was to be married in mere days. I pushed the possibilities to the back of my mind and enjoyed my day with my best friend.

We headed to the arcade. Harry tried every game, but sdaly, we were both out of luck. I saw a huge stuffed toy at a shooting range and pulled Harry. The other rifle was taking so we had to share one.

"You go first," he said. We only had three shots, so I aimed immediately at one of the smaller soldiers on the top shelf. My eyes were on the stuffed toy.

Quite predictably, I missed.

"Your turn," I said, handing the rifle over. He aimed at the larger ones on the middle shelf, but still no luck.

"You have the last shot," he said.

"No, go ahead," I contradicted.

"Fine," he shrugged. "Which one do you want?"

"Anything," I replied, praying he'd aim for the top shelf. He looked at me, aimed and fired, hitting the tiniest soldier at the top shelf. Involuntarily, I cheered and squealed when the large stuffed toy was handed to Harry.

"Thank you," I replied as he handed it to me. He locked my gaze for a few seconds before clearing his throat and pulling away.

_And every night  
>I lie awake<br>Thinking maybe you love me  
>Like I've always loved you<br>But how can you love me  
>Like I loved you when<br>You can't even look me straight in my eyes_

After that we sampled most of the food at the carnival. When we'd ingested most of the deep-fried concoctions and sugary snacks, we decided to leave for a fastfood joint. The day was about to end anyway, and he had to prepare for his stag party.

While waiting for him and our food to arrive, I thought long and hard to myself. What would happen if I told him? What would be the best approach? Would this jeopardize our relationship? Would it jeopardize his with Ginny? The latter part, I strongly doubted.

Should I have told him sooner? Was it bad that I put it off until a week before their wedding day?

While we were eating, I decided that I should tell him. By the end of teh day, he must know what I feel for him. That meant that I still have until the ride back home.

_I've never felt this way  
>To be so in love<br>To have someone there  
>Yet feel so alone<br>Aren't you supposed to be  
>The one to wipe my tears<br>The on to say that you would never leave_

"Ready to go?" he asked a few minutes after we'd finished.

"Ready when you are," I replied.

The drive home was pretty much the same as the drive to the carnival, except that there was a stuffed toy in Harry's backseat. I was weighing pros and cons in my mind every minute.

Before I knew it, we were home. Well, I was home. I'll have to tell it to him at my doorstep.

He opened the passenger's side as I was fishing for my keys. My fingers were fumbling because I was nervous. He had the stuffed toy in his hand as he walked me to the doorstep.

"Enjoy your party tonight," I said, giving him a hug for goodbye.

"With Ron being in-charge, I doubt I won't," he laughed.

"I love you," I said, before I could stop myself.

How did that come out of my mouth?

"I love you too," he replied with a smile, then he walked to his car.

I entered my house and closed the door behind me as he drove away. He had misunderstood. I would have to tell him tomorrow.

I decided to be a couch potato the folloing day. The rehearsal dinner would start at 5 pm, so I just sat in front of the television and bawled my eyes out with a movie marathon.

Three hours before the event I decided to stop or else my eyes would look horrible. I took a really long bath and began preparing. I looked in the mirror and saw myself, with Harry standing right behind me.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in my ear. I blinked once and he faded away. All that's left was a tear on my cheek.

_The waters calm and still  
>My reflection is there<br>I see you holding me  
>But then you disappear<br>All that is left of you  
>Is a memory<br>On that only, exists in my dreams_

And every night  
>I lie awake<br>Thinking maybe you love me  
>Like I've always loved you<br>But how can you love me  
>Like I loved you when<br>You can't even look me straight in my eyes

Ron and I were working together since I was the Maid of Honor and he was Best Man. I only looked at how happy Harry and Ginny were. Was I really going to ruin their day?

"Harry can I talk to you for a sec?" I asked.

"Sure 'Mione, what's on your mind?"

"Um . . . outside?"

We walked to the gardens discreetly. Ginny was happily laughing with a group of friends.

"I need to tell you something," I said.

"Go on then."

I took several breaths and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Harry, I love you."

There was a long pause. Harry snickered. "I love you too."

"No Harry, it's nothing like that."

There was another long pause.

"Since when?" he asked. There was something in his voice. I could tell that he was hurt. It hurt me more that it was my fault and that I can't do anything about it?

"I don't know," I replied. "I'm not here to ask you to leave Ginny for me. I just want you to know how I feel."

"Why did you decide to tell me now?"

"I didn't," I said. "I tried telling you so many times, but you wouldn't understand."

"Hermione I . . ." he trailed off. Finally, he sighed. "I have to go back inside."

I just nodded. I watched his retreating back as the first tear rolled down my cheek. The door opened and the noise of happiness emerged from it. I took my chance again before it was gone forever.

"Harry," I called as loudly as my tear-choked voice could manage. He looked at me and the same hurt was in his eyes. "No matter what . . . please remember that I'll always love you."

_I don't know what hurts you  
>But I can feel it too<br>And it just hurts so much  
>To know that I can't do a thing<br>And deep down in my heart  
>Somehow I just know<br>That no matter what  
>I'll always love you<br>_

He nodded curtly and continued distancing himself from me. For a brief moment, the noise of happiness mocked me. I was plunged in the darkness as the door closed behind him.

I completely broke down crying and soon the rain picked up as well. I know that I have part of Harry's heart. That's probably why he was so hurt. Unfortunately, I never had his love and I guess I never will.

So why am I still standing here in the rain?

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><p><em>I often close my eyes<br>And I can see you smile  
>You reach out for my hand<br>And I'm woken from my dream  
>Although your heart is mine<br>It's hollow inside  
>I never had your love<br>And I never will  
><em>

_**So why am I still here in the rain?**_

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><p>There we go.<p>

Thanks for reading! Please review!


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